Bill Gates leaves $50 tip on $7.82 bill

Bill Gates is a lot of things. A brilliant computer programmer. A shrewd businessman. A snazzy dresser. A great minesweeper player. But according to waiter Ron Russelman, he’s also a lousy tipper. Gates dined at Laury’s Chicken and Steak on Wednesday, and ordered a cheeseburger and orange soda. His total came out to $7.82. And…

Joey Chestnut named AP Athlete of the Year

For the first time ever, the Associated Press has named a competitive eater its Athlete of the Year. The honor went to Nathan’s Hot Dog eating champion Joey Chestnut, who powered his way through 187 hot dogs in a span of just ten minutes during the championship event. “That’s a lot of hot dogs,” said…

Supermarket says ‘Limit 10 Per Customer’

Safeway is having a sale on canned Del Monte corn–but don’t think you’re going to have the opportunity to fill your kitchen with the discounted vegetable. ┬áBeing that the sale price is a ridiculously low 89 cents per can, Safeway has decided to institute a policy of limiting customers to just 10 cans total. In…

Trump publishes list of celebrities who should lose weight

In yet another controversial move, President-elect Donald Trump had a press conference yesterday in which he discussed how certain celebrities should exercise and go on a diet. “We can’t have overweight celebrities,” remarked Trump. “Not during my administration. I mean, during the Obama administration, yes, people were free to be flabby lard asses. But I…

Bananas contain more potassium than previously thought

We all know that a medium banana contains 422.1 milligrams of potassium. Right? Wrong! According to new research, a medium banana contains a whopping 422.8 milligrams of potassium, and not 422.1 milligrams of potassium as previously thought. The new finding is challenging many popular beliefs in the potassium and banana communities–most notably, the belief that…

Trump tells Taco Bell to stop selling Mexican food

President-elect Donald Trump caused some controversy on Tuesday, after stating that the Taco Bell fast food chain attracts millions of illegal Mexican immigrants annually to the United States. During a televised meeting with Taco Bell CEO Brian Niccol, Trump demanded that the Taco Bell menu be “de-Mexicanized 100%,” and that all tortillas and taco shells…