Trump loses at Monopoly, alleges that the game is rigged

 

Donald Trump is once again making claims of something being rigged, and this time he’s taking on the real estate themed board game Monopoly. The President-elect went bankrupt 37 minutes into a Monopoly game last night, against his opponents Gary Busey, former New York Mayor Rudy Giuliani, and the Donald’s illegitimate son  Faizon Love. “I’m a real estate genius,” Trump told Hundred Percent News in an exclusive interview. “Do you honestly think my real estate empire would go bankrupt to Gary Busey, if the game weren’t rigged?” Giuliani echoed Trump’s views on the matter. “No doubt this game is rigged,” he said. “I mean, Trump landed on Oriental three times.  Also, I’m pretty sure the bank tried to charge Trump for Free Parking. It’s like communism, the way Monopoly goes after the wealthy.”

Some people, however, are saying that Trump’s real state investing strategy was not sound to begin with, and might’ve led to his financial woes early in the game. “He bought green properties early in the game,” said one anonymous source who might be Gary Busey. “Who the fuck buys green properties early in the game?”

Trump is also being attacked for some inappropriate comments that he made during the game. “He said that all women are whores,” said another anonymous source who’s also Gary Busey. “And then Faizon was all like, ‘You mean most women?’ And Trump was all like, ‘Absolutely not. All women. Every single one. All whores.” Trump supporters are claiming that the comment was just innocent “locker room” talk–but four out of those five women on The View are saying that Trump is a misogynist.

 

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