Woman ends her 18 year relationship with Costco

44 year old Holly Anderson of Westchester, Texas has been married twice–once for five years, and the second time for seven years. But she just ended the longest relationship of her life–her 18 years with Costco Wholesale. “I didn’t renew my membership,” she told Fox football analyst James Brown. “I mean, 18 years is enough. And Costco’s really not that great when you think about it. You just fucking wander around that place for two and a half hours, like a deranged person. I mean, Costco is a fantastic store if you want to buy mustard and socks. But come to my apartment, and you’ll see how I’ve already accumulated 300 socks and four gallons of mustard.”

When asked where should would do most of her shopping from now on, Anderson mentioned Target, Amazon, and a local supermarket called Mi Bandera. “Mexican supermarkets have good stuff at good prices,” said Anderson. “I shop at Mi Bandera, even though I’m not Mexican. You don’t have to be Mexican to shop at a Mexican supermarket.”

When asked about Holly Anderson’s break up with Costco, the company’s CEO W. Craig Jelinek had this to say. “Whatever. Whatever, bro. You think I’m hung up on her? I don’t care. She can kiss my ass if she thinks I care. I’m not even gonna read her Facebook anymore. She posts dumb stuff there, anyways.”


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