Ed Miller of Rawlins, Wyoming is an extremely heterosexual man. He drinks beer, he lives like a slob, he has five kids with three women, and he works in a coal mine. But yesterday, he engaged in a very gay activity: he watched ten consecutive hours of The Golden Girls.
“I like that show,” Miller told Hundred Percent News in an exclusive interview. “I mean, don’t get me wrong. I’m not gay. I just, you know. After I work in a coal mine, what better show is there to watch than The Golden Girls? Blanche. Blanche is my favorite character.” When asked if he owned any Golden Girls DVDs, he remarked, “No. That would be gay. Like I said, I’m straight. I’m not gonna buy the DVDs. I just watch the show, on the Logo Channel.”
Miller’s coal mining coworker, Brad Fillmore, doesn’t really get what Miller sees in the show. “We were playing poker one night with some guys. Me and Ed–we both ran out of chips and sat out. And then Ed–he turns on this fucking show. And, I mean, he’s mesmerized by it. The Golden Girls. He’s soaking it all up, and laughing at Dorothy’s sarcastic remarks. And then I’m like, ‘Ed. We’re coal miners. We don’t watch The Golden Girls, you homo.’ And then Ed got pissed off, and he challenged me to a fistfight.”
Miller says that although his is in fact very straight, he has no plans to stop watching The Golden Girls. “As a matter of fact,” he told us, “I’m thinking of getting four cats, and naming them Blanche, Dorothy, Rose, and Sophia.”