In a double blind taste taste where a thousand experts sipped wine and Matt Damon’s urine, 98% of participants actually rated Matt Damon’s urine as having superior flavor. “The results were conclusive,” said James O’Shaughnessy, who designed the study for no particularly good reason. “If you think you have good taste in wine, that probably means you really enjoy drinking Matt Damon’s urine.”
Ben Affleck had this to say about the results. “I mean, yeah. Like, I’ve never actually drank Matt Damon’s urine before. Except for that one time. And that other time. But, I mean, the study seems pretty, uh, I don’t know. Like, I mean, was the point of the study to see how good Matt Damon’s urine tastes? Because that would be a weird study.”
The wine market has actually dipped 17% since the study was published, and various wine producing countries are considering shifting over to Pepsi. “It’s very easy to tell the difference between Pepsi and urine,” remarked Romanian Vice President Klaus Diaconescu Holyfield.
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